"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
