GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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