Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
