i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
