Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need moral support for this bender
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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