Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
