physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
