I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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