you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My ass is underappreciated
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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