As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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