it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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