I'm eating all of the evidence.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
