If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
