Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
