Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
