I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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