so let's talk penis.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
