Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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