Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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