I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
