your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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