I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize