I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
