She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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