your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize