sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
