do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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