I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
