I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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