im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize