Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
