I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
