yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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