Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
