just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
