dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
