id be glad to
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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