Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
