Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
