You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
