New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
