Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
