I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
