I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
two words: eviction party
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
