I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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