the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
