So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
