I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
