I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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