just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
