Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
