Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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