there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
