I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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