I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
