I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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