let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
