Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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