Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
