Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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