I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize