Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
