You smell like stripper and shame
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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