All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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